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00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:07,160
ON TV: 'Springwatch starts
on Sunday, 23rd May on BBC Two.'

2
00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:09,960
PHONE RINGS
Aw, for...

3
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:14,960
Hello?

4
00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,960
'Hi, it's me.' Oh, hello, me(!)

5
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:19,960
Listen, what about
a short-sleeved shirt?

6
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:21,960
What about it? For your birthday!

7
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:24,160
How? Can you not afford one
with long sleeves?

8
00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:26,960
Eric, you need
a short-sleeved shirt.

9
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,960
'Look, Beth, I told you -
you don't have to bother.'

10
00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:30,640
I don't want anything.

11
00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:33,960
Oh, they've got some nice linen
ones. I've got a linen shirt!

12
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:37,960
What? That stripy one?
'Uh-huh.' No, that is horrendous!

13
00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:40,960
What's wrong with it? You look
like Jocky Wilson on safari!

14
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:42,960
HE SIGHS
Listen, I told you!

15
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,960
I don't want anything!
Or a fleece!

16
00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:47,960
I don't... 'Oh, or a body warmer?'

17
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,960
They've got reversible body warmers!

18
00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:52,960
And what am I going to do with one
of them?! Um, turn it inside out?

19
00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,960
'Honestly, Beth, you don't need
to worry. It's fine.'

20
00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:57,960
The best present you can get me is

21
00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,160
a bit of bloody peace and quiet -
that'll do me!

22
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:03,960
I don't know why I bother,
honestly! See you later.

23
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,960
Aye, see you later. No hurry.
Take your time.

24
00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:09,960
Ah...

25
00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:14,960
ON TV: '..Eggheads in 45 minutes.'

26
00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:17,960
DOORBELL RINGS
Oh, dear God! 'But before that,

27
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:19,960
'another game of
Pointless Celebrities.'

28
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TV OFF,
HE SIGHS DEEPLY

29
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:26,960
We've come to talk to you about
the role of religion in your life.

30
00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:27,960
SHE CACKLES
Ha-ha!

31
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:29,960
It's funny you should say that.

32
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I was just saying a wee prayer
to myself on the way to the door.

33
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Ha-ha!

34
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(Unfortunately, it wisnae answered.)

35
00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:57,960
Aw, are we interrupting you
having your dinner?

36
00:01:57,960 --> 00:01:59,960
Well... What are you having?

37
00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:02,960
Aw, just a shepherd's pie thing.
Aw, gads!

38
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:05,960
I've no' long just had mine,
in't that right, Cath? Aye.

39
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:07,960
Cooked him a steak. She did.

40
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,960
Rib-eye! It was beautiful!

41
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Wee pool of blood round it.

42
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:13,320
I says to Catherine,
she put it down,

43
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"A good vet could get that
back on its feet."

44
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THEY LAUGH

45
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:18,960
Where's Beth?
Er, she's at the shops.

46
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:20,960
Aw, late-night shopping!

47
00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:23,960
Why did she not say?
I could've gone with her!

48
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:25,960
Eric...
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

49
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:30,480
What's this? Now, I know it's not
till tomorrow, but that's from us.

50
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,960
Happy birthday, Eric! Oh.

51
00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:34,000
Oh? Oh, sorry. Ha-ha!

52
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,960
SHE GIGGLES
Och, you didn't need to, honestly!

53
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We wanted to!

54
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,160
Well, SHE did.
I'd forgotten all about it.

55
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:42,960
I always remember
your birthday, Eric.

56
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:46,960
It's exactly nine days before the
date we had the Alsatians put down.

57
00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,000
Now, I know we usually
get together on your birthday,

58
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,960
but this year, unfortunately,
we can't.

59
00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:53,000
Aw, that's a shame!

60
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,960
We're away sailing tomorrow,
aren't we, Col? Sailing!

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00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:57,960
That's right.

62
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In a boat.

63
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,320
On the sea!

64
00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:02,640
On a boat. On the sea.

65
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:03,960
Oh, right, aye.

66
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,960
Well, it's very kind, but you
shouldn't have bothered, honestly.

67
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:09,160
Do you no want to see what it is?!
I kind of know what it is.

68
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:10,800
But do you now?

69
00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:12,960
Could be anything in there!

70
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,960
SHE LAUGHS: Let's have a look.

71
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,000
COLIN AND CATH GIGGLE
What is it?

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00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,960
What's in the bag?
Here, let me look.

73
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,960
Oh...

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A beautiful bottle of wine.

75
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Now, you'll enjoy that.

76
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,960
It's...it's kind of fruity,
but it's no' too fruity.

77
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:37,000
It's smoky, but no' too smoky
and it's woody, but...

78
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:40,480
Well, anyway, a glass of that,
along with a tin of macaroni,

79
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:41,960
it's beautiful.

80
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,960
Actually, I'm not drinking
at the moment. You...?

81
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,960
HE GASPS
Say again?

82
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,960
I'm off the drink.
You're not drinking? No.

83
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You're not drinking ANYTHING? No.
Not even a beer in the morning?

84
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:55,960
There's more calories in booze
than there is in food.

85
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,960
You're not drinking ANYTHING?

86
00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:58,960
My doctor said to try it.

87
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,960
I've lost three pounds already.

88
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:02,960
Really?!

89
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,960
And here's us bringing you
a bottle of wine! Dear me!

90
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:09,960
Well, never mind. I mean, you can
keep it for a special occasion,

91
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:11,960
like a...like a celebration,
can't he, Cath? Aye.

92
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,960
Like when he starts drinking again.

93
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:14,960
COLIN LAUGHS

94
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:15,960
DOORBELL RINGS

95
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:17,960
Here, you get it, Eric.
We'll sit down.

96
00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:23,960
Hiya, Dad. Oh, it's you!

97
00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:25,640
Hello, Mr Baird! Aye.

98
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,000
We just came to drop this off.
Oh, right.

99
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,960
Oh, look who it is!

100
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:32,960
Hiya, Ian! Mwah! Hiya, Jaz! Mwah!

101
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:36,960
Jaz, have you had
your teeth whitened? Er...

102
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:38,960
Come on! Come on through!

103
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:40,960
Choo-choo! I...

104
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HE SIGHS

105
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Aw, Jaz, you're so cuddly!
Look at the two of you!

106
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Two cuddly little gay things!

107
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,960
We're not interrupting your dinner,
are we? No, no, you're all right.

108
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:54,960
Her mince is awfy salty.

109
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,960
Do you two want something to drink?

110
00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,960
You got a beer? No.
I've no got any beers.

111
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,960
Aw, of course - you're off it.
Are you not drinking, Mr Baird?

112
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,960
Not at the moment.
You've got wine, Eric!

113
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,160
Wanting a wee glass of wine, Ian?
Aye, I'll take a glass of wine.

114
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:11,960
Jaz? No, I'm driving. Are you sure?
I've got some peppermints in my bag.

115
00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:15,960
How many days
has it been now, Mr Baird?

116
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:17,960
I've got an uncle that's in AA.
He's doing really well.

117
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:19,960
He's not wet the bed in three years.

118
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:23,480
Er, no, I'm just doing it to lose
a bit of weight. Course you are.

119
00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:24,960
Go and get a bottle opener, Eric.

120
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,320
My liver thinks
my throat's been cut.

121
00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:35,320
Thanks, driver. As I say,
a sad, sad day, but a lovely buffet.

122
00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,960
In fact,
if you'll take a tip from me,

123
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,960
you'll get yersel back down there.

124
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:43,160
There's going to be
a lot of folk wanting taxis.

125
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:45,960
Maybe put some plastic
doon in the back.

126
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,960
Single malts on top of a lot
of pan bread, know what I mean?

127
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,960
Right, Mum, come on.
Right you are, driver!

128
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:52,960
Right you are.
ENGINE STARTS

129
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130
00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:03,960


131
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,960
What a lovely day!

132
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,960
That service was heartbreaking!

133
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:13,960
Did you see her on my left roaring
and greeting into the hanky?

134
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:15,960
She seemed to settle quite quick

135
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,960
when they pulled the foil
aff that buffet, eh? Aw, come on!

136
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,960
I'm getting gooseberries aff of that

137
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:24,960
and sort of vanilla tones,
are you, Cath?

138
00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:29,960
Ah! Oh, yeah. What about you, Ian?
It's all right, yeah, quite nice.

139
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,480
Eric, how's yours?

140
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:35,960
Fizzy! Did you I tell you -
I gave up the drink once?

141
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,960
Did you? Aye. I felt great.
What made you start again?

142
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:41,960
I met Cathy.

143
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,960
Ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha(!)

144
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:47,960
I always said that she had money.
Apparently, that nephew of hers

145
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:52,960
was round her like a sandfly.
Mum, please! Heartless bastard!

146
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,960
And I will tell him that to his face
when I'm down there tomorrow

147
00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:58,960
picking up that gravy boat
the sister promised me.

148
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,960
What time is it?

149
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:02,960
It's still early!

150
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,960
Why don't we go and say
a quick hello to Beth? Aw, no!

151
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,960
Oh, she'll be desperate to see

152
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,960
that selfie you took of me
with the hearse. Come on!

153
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:13,960
SHE TUTS

154
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,000
Are you sure you're not wanting
a wee dribble, Jaz, yeah?

155
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,960
No, I can't. Honestly, I'm driving.

156
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,960
Aw, get a taxi!
Och, leave him, Cath!

157
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:24,480
He can get a bit of Eric's Fanta.
I tell you - they're like hawks,

158
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:26,960
these police, when it comes
to drink-driving. Oh, they are.

159
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,640
I got stopped
and breathalysed last year,

160
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:30,960
on the way back from the airport!

161
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:34,480
Remember, when we'd been
in Florida? I remember. Luckily,

162
00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:38,960
I'd been refused alcohol on the
plane, so I was just under. Phew!

163
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,960
DOORBELL RINGS

164
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:41,960
Oh!

165
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:50,960
Hello, Eric.
Christ, is it Halloween? Ha-ha!

166
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:52,480
We've been to a funeral, Eric.

167
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:55,160
Oh, I'm sorry. It's all right.

168
00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:58,960
It was a very emotional day,
wasn't it, Sophie? Yup.

169
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:02,960
Still, it was her time.
Was it someone very close?

170
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,960
Aye,
it was a cousin of my mother's.

171
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,160
The pair of them were like that,
so they were!

172
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:09,960
So, I says to Sophie,
"This is not going to be easy,

173
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:13,960
"but you and me are going to get
down there to represent the family

174
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,000
"and pay our respects to Irene."

175
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,960
Isobel!

176
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:19,960
Isobel. Is Beth in, no?

177
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:23,960
Er, no. No, she's out. It's all
right, I'll just let myself in.

178
00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:29,960
Oh, you've got a houseful.
If I'd have known that...

179
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,960
Well, I'd probably still
have come across. Ha-ha!

180
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:35,960
Hello, everybody.

181
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,960
Have you been to a funeral,
Christine? Yes, I have indeed.

182
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:41,960
Aw, has someone died?

183
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:45,320
No, we bury folk alive here
in Scotland, don't you know(?)

184
00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:46,960
Whose was it?

185
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,640
SOPHIE: Och, some woman my gran
knew. It was a nightmare!

186
00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:51,960
I've been there
since 10 o'clock this morning!

187
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:55,960
A sad day, Cathy. Sophie,
where's that order of service

188
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:59,960
till I talk Cathy through it?
Full Latin mass, Cathy.

189
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,640
My arse was fucking numb!

190
00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:04,960
Cath, a wee top-up?

191
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:09,320
Eric? Er, no, no,
I'm fine with the orange.

192
00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:10,960
Aw, what's the matter with you?

193
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:13,960
He's on the wagon.
Why are you on the wagon, Eric?

194
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:15,960
I just decided
to lay off it for a while.

195
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,800
My uncle was always trying to stop,
but he couldn't control it.

196
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,960
Aw, well. If it's making you fat,

197
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,960
and making you spit
when you talk, why not?

198
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:25,480
I've said for years
that you've had a problem.

199
00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:28,960
I don't have a problem! Honestly,
that's exactly what he used to say.

200
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,960
Oh! How come
you're having to stop, then?

201
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,960
I'm just taking a break from it!

202
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:35,960
Oh? How long are you taking
a break from it for? I don't know!

203
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:38,960
You'll have one tomorrow,
though? Probably a wee one.

204
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:40,960
That's no' much of a break, that!

205
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,320
Well, that's the end of that!

206
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,960
Open another one. Aye!
You get anything else, Eric?

207
00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:49,960
ERIC SIGHS
Oh, here, Eric!

208
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,960
Take that out the road, will you?
It's giving me the boak!

209
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,960
Here, I didnae know
there was food on the go.

210
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:58,960
Mind you, we had quite
a bit of that buffet. Ha-ha!

211
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,960
I'll maybe take some crisps
or something, Eric?

212
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:03,960
What about you, Sophie?
You want a roll?

213
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:05,960
No, thanks. No, she's fine.

214
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:07,960
But I'll take one, with cheese.

215
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:08,960
Uh-huh.

216
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:09,960
No, ham.

217
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,960
No, cheese AND ham!

218
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,960
Oh? I see someone's
enjoying themselves.

219
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:22,960
Aye! Well, it's no' me!

220
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,640
CHATTER INSIDE

221
00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:26,960
I thought you were having
a quiet night? I was!

222
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:30,960
CHRISTINE: Where's my roll?
COLIN: Eric, Christine's roll!

223
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:34,640
Quiche,
baby chicken satay on skewers,

224
00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,960
sausage rolls, all to the left.

225
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:40,960
Then your sub rolls with
tuna mayonnaise, roast beef

226
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:45,960
and horseradish, egg and onion,
all to the right, wasn't it, Sophie?

227
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,960
I'm just going to go to the toilet.

228
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:49,960
She's taking it awfy sore.

229
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:52,960
She's hardly said a word
all day, poor thing! Aw!

230
00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,960
Were they quite close? Who?

231
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:59,960
Hi, Sophie! Hi, Mrs Baird.
Is it OK if I use your toilet?

232
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,160
Of course, on you go.


233
00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:05,960


234
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:07,000
HE MOUTHS

235
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,960
Aw! There she is!
RELIEVED SIGH: Hiya, Beth!

236
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,960
Beth, you'll never guess
who got planted the day!

237
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,960
Oh, Beth, show us what you got!

238
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,960
Hey, you, ya bandit,
wind your neck in!

239
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:21,960
I was talking to her!

240
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,960
I'll give you a clue -
it's not Pat fie across the back.

241
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,960
She's still with us.
Mind you, going by the looks of her,

242
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:32,960
I think I'd better keep this frock
to the front of my wardrobe.

243
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,960
So who was it? Isobel!

244
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,960
Who's Isobel?
A cousin of my mother's!

245
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,960
Well, when I say cousin...

246
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:44,000
not really her cousin,
more sort of bingo buddies.

247
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:51,640
So, I said to Sophie, "This is
our chance to say our goodbyes

248
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:54,160
"and to give Irene
the respect that she deserves."

249
00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:56,960
Isobel! Isobel, that's right.

250
00:11:56,960 --> 00:12:00,960
Colin? Oh, hang on, let me
finish the decent stuff first.

251
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:02,800
Mmm!

252
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:03,960
Right, fire it in.

253
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:07,640
Ooft!

254
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,960
Reminds me, I'll need to be getting
diesel for the lawnmower. Ha-ha!

255
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:11,960
BAG RUSTLES

256
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:12,960
CATHY GASPS

257
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:14,960
Oh, wow!

258
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:18,800
Wow-ee! Och, it's just a wee thing.

259
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,960
I had no idea what to get you!
You're a nightmare to buy for!

260
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,960
I'm a grown man, I'm no' needing
bloody birthday presents!

261
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:29,480
An electronic photo frame!
Oh, what's this for?

262
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:31,960
It's Eric's birthday. When? Today?

263
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:35,000
Tomorrow.
Aw, happy birthday for tomorrow!

264
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,160
Aw, let's have a wee look.

265
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:40,480
We were looking at them,
weren't we, Cath? Were we? Aye!

266
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,000
It was the dearer ones, though.

267
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,960
What is it?
It's a digital picture frame.

268
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,960
You transfer all the pictures
from your phone to it.

269
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,960
And then what do you do?
Well, you...you look at them.

270
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:54,320
So, say I've got a phone,
but I don't have any pictures on it?

271
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,960
Well, you wouldn't
be able to dae it.

272
00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:00,960
Aye, I don't want one, then.
What have you two got him?

273
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:02,960
Come on, don't be shy!

274
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:06,000
I saw you giving it
to your dad earlier. Come on!

275
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,960
Aw, that's just... There it is!

276
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:09,960
Ooh!

277
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,960
Aw, you might have wrapped it!

278
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:15,160
An electric blanket?!
That's the last thing he's needing,

279
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:18,800
isn't it, Beth? You said
he sweats like a pig as it is!

280
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:19,960
It's theirs. They lent it to us.

281
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:22,960
Ah! The radiator in our bedroom
was knackered, so we borrowed it.

282
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,960
We actually forgot it was your
birthday. Aw, don't worry about it.

283
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:29,960
Ian, that's terrible. He was always
an awfy selfish wee boy, that one.

284
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:33,960
I gave him vouchers
14 years ago for his Christmas

285
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,000
and I'm still waiting
on a thank you card.

286
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,960
There's still time!
I could nip along to the garage?

287
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,160
No, no, you don't need
to go to the garage.

288
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:43,960
Make him go to the garage, Eric!
Go to the garage, Jaz!

289
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:45,800
Pick me up 20 Silk Cut silver

290
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,800
and he could get
a bottle of that wine, Col.

291
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:49,960
You'll not get that in the garage.
Where'd you get it?

292
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,960
It's Tesco Finest.
Don't bother, Jaz.

293
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,960
No, don't bother,
just stay where you are. Oh, boo!

294
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,160
It's fine! You can come round
tomorrow. We're not doing anything.

295
00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:01,960
Cath, Colin? You'll be round
tomorrow, will you not?

296
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,640
We can't tomorrow, Beth.
Er, we're away sailing.

297
00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:07,960
Sailing? Yup. On a boat. On the sea.

298
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:09,960
On a boat, on the sea.

299
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:11,960
Here, Jaz, if you are
going to the garage,

300
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,960
will you bring me
a packet of Rennies?

301
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,960
That quiche is coming back on me.

302
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:17,960
SHE BELCHES

303
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,960
Big lumps of Stilton!

304
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,960
SHE RETCHES
Oh, I'm getting onion as well.

305
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:25,800
You OK, Soph?
CATH: Come and sit down!

306
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,960
Oh, you poor thing!

307
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,960
It's all right.
She's all right, Christine!

308
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,960
Aw! I know how you're feeling, hmm?

309
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,960
Every dog we've ever had
ended up getting put down

310
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,640
and it never gets any easier!

311
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:41,960
I really am sorry, Dad. It's fine!

312
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,960
Here, Jaz, there's £1.20.

313
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,960
Jaz, I'll gie you the money
when you get back, yeah?

314
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:48,320
Mrs Baird? Hang on, Sophie, love.

315
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:50,960
Beth, give that to Jaz.
I don't want to break a fiver.

316
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,960
He's not going
to the garage, Christine!

317
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:01,960
Why don't we see
if we can get a photo on this?

318
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:03,960
Mrs Baird,
can I talk to you for just a minute?

319
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:04,960
Hang on a minute, Sophie, love.

320
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:08,960
Ian, let's get a photo of all of us
and see if you can get it onto this.

321
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,960
Where's your phone?
Where'd you get that, Beth?

322
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,960
Did you get it from
the wee Chinese place?

323
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:17,960
Oh, that's a great shop, that!
I saw this thing in there.

324
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:22,960
It was a hand on the end of a stick
and, when you press a button,

325
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,960
the hand goes like that.

326
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:28,960
And what's it for?
Don't know! Going like that!

327
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:30,000
So, who do you want?

328
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,480
Oh, take one of me first, Ian,
and then get everybody!

329
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,960
I want a photo of you two.
Us? Uh-huh!

330
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,960
Eric, take a photo of Ian and Jaz.

331
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,960
Jaz, come on!
Ian, give your phone to your dad.

332
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:44,960
Er, right. Where are we with this?

333
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:47,960
Oh, the big red button
in the middle, down the bottom.

334
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:49,960
Closer in!

335
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:53,960
Oh, if you just... Eh? ..move your
finger a bit. Aw, say cheese!

336
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:54,960
CHEESE!

337
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:59,960
Beth, here! They're starting to
dress quite similar, aren't they?

338
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:03,960
That's what happens. Same way as
folk start to look like their dugs.

339
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:06,160
CAMERA CLICKS
There, that's it.

340
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,640
JAZ: Right, put this into that.

341
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:12,960
EXCITED CHATTER
Um, yeah.

342
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:13,960
ALL: Aw!

343
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,480
Aw, that's pretty good! No bad.

344
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:17,960
Oh, take another one!
Take one of all the family!

345
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:20,960
Aw, we got one of them done
professionally, didn't we, Sophie?

346
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,960
Remember when you were a wee baby?

347
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:24,960
Oh, wee baby Sophie.

348
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,960
Did you no' get one of them done?
What happened to it?

349
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,480
Well, we...we did get one done,

350
00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:31,960
but it didn't, er...
It didn't come out right.

351
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:33,960
We just decided
we were fine with what we had.

352
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:34,960
Yeah, we just decided to leave it.

353
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,960
That's a bit of a waste. Ach, well,
you know, one of those things.

354
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:41,960
Aw, baby. They didn't still charge
you for it, though, did they? Er...

355
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,960
I can't remember. Did we pay?
I think we paid something?

356
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,960
Oh, don't ask me. Ha-ha!

357
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,960
They made you pay for the picture,
but you still never got it.

358
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:52,640
No, no, no, we did get it,
we just decided not to, um...

359
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:54,960
Not to...not to put it up.
Not to put it up, that's right.

360
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:57,640
Anyway...
Well, have you still got it?

361
00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:59,960
Aw, I'd love to see it!
I'd love to see it too, Jaz!

362
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:01,960
Come on, Eric! Go and get it!
CHRISTINE: Yeah!

363
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,480
Listen, I don't even know
where it is. Aye, ye dae!

364
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:06,960
We wouldn't be able to find it
in a million years!

365
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:08,960
CATH: Go and get it!
CHRISTINE: Where is it?

366
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,960
Get it, Eric!
If you paid all that money...

367
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:13,960
Watch where you're stepping!

368
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:14,960
I can't believe this!

369
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,960
CHATTER AND LAUGHTER DOWNSTAIRS

370
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,960
And I've still no' had any dinner!
Just get on with it.

371
00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:22,960
HE SIGHS DEEPLY

372
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,960
CHRISTINE:

373
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:31,480

till the break of day!

374
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:36,960
Aye, here, he's enjoying himself,
aren't ye, son? There you go.

375
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:37,960
Are you not driving?

376
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:41,960
Aw, he's all right.
He's got his sat nav!

377
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:42,960
Sophie, do you want a glass?

378
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,960
No, thanks.
I'm not wanting anything.

379
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,480
You're allowed! No!

380
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,000
She's taking it bad
right enough, eh?

381
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:54,960
Oh, here he is! Oh, and he's got it!

382
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:56,960
CHEERING

383
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:58,960
Here, Eric, do you want a wee...?

384
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:01,960
No, come on now, Colin!
He's on the wagon!

385
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:05,320

ALL: On my wagon

386
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:09,320


387
00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:13,160


388
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:16,960

Eric, come on!

389
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,960
Bring it in! Bring it in!
Come on, let's get a look at it.

390
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,160
COLIN: Right, come on, Eric.
Right, come on!

391
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:24,960
Right, ssh, everybody, ssh!
Ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh!

392
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:28,960
THEY HUM A FANFARE

393
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,320
ALL: Oh!

394
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:35,960
Oh, here, that's no bad!
Oh, Beth, look at your hair!

395
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:40,960
Boy, oh, boy! You've no' half
piled on the beef, Eric!

396
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:45,960
Oh, look at you there! Don't!
What? You look so cute!

397
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,960
What's that there? It's just
a sticker thing that Ian put on it.

398
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:51,960
Why'd he put it there?

399
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:55,960
Basically, the photographer...
Unfortunately, um...

400
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,960
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
..the way the guy set the shot up,

401
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:00,960
you ended up being able
to see a bit of my...

402
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,960
Your willy?! No!

403
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:07,960
Well, sort of. More like my... What?

404
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:08,960
Your balls?

405
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:10,960
Aye. A bit of them.

406
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:12,960
One of them.
You can see one of them.

407
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,960
Well, we THINK it's one of them.

408
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,960
There's something anyway,
in amongst the...hair.

409
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,320
RAUCOUS LAUGHTER

410
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,960
All right! All right!

411
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:35,960
Oh, look at the sticker, Colin!
Look! Look!

412
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:39,960
What is it? It's a footballer!
Who is it? Let's get a look!

413
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,960
Go on! It's Ally McCoist!

414
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,960
Look, Ally McCoist
stuck to yer balls!

415
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,960
Here, I bet you wouldn't
mind that, eh, Ian?!

416
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:47,160
JAZ GIGGLES SOFTLY

417
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:48,960
LAUGHTER CONTINUES

418
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:49,960
It's a bloody disgrace!

419
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,960
I mean, I don't know how the guy
didn't notice it! Cathy, leave it!

420
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:53,960
STICKER RIPS

421
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:54,960
CHEERING

422
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,960
Nae wonder you didn't put it up!

423
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,960
Who'd want that over their
mantelpiece? Here, what about...

424
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:03,960

hangin' on the wall...

425
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:07,160
OTHERS JOIN IN:
hangin' on yer wall

426
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:11,160

Should accidentally fall!

427
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:15,960

hangin' on the wall...

428
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,960
LAUGHTER
Hooray! Hilarious(!)

429
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,960
COLIN LAUGHS
She's pissing herself!

430
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:21,960
So she is!

431
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,960
CATHY SOBS
Cathy?

432
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,960
Cathy! Are you all right, Cath?

433
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,960
Come on now, Cath. Come on,
let's get you into the kitchen.

434
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:30,160
SOBBING CONTINUES

435
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:36,160
What a shame!

436
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,000
I know! Eric...

437
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,960
Give us over her wine, eh?
I'll just...

438
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:47,960
SOBBING CONTINUES

439
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:50,800
Aw, Cathy,
what on earth is the matter?

440
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,960
SOBBING AND SNIFFING

441
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:56,960
What's going on?
We're not going sailing!

442
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,480
Oh, well, that's disappointing,
but surely...

443
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:03,960
We said we were going sailing on
a boat, on the sea, but we're not.

444
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:09,000
We're going to see the consultant
at the fertility place. Ah.

445
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:13,960
I don't think it's going
to be good news, Beth.

446
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:15,320
Oh, come on now, Cath.

447
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,960
You don't know that for sure
until you go and talk to them!

448
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,640
Well, actually, I do. How come?

449
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:23,960
I phoned them.
I couldn't wait and I phoned them.

450
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:27,960
Oh, Beth...
promise you won't say anything.

451
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:29,960
Of course not, Cathy.

452
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:32,160
It's your business
and nobody needs to know.

453
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:36,160
What happens is
they give you a wee cup, right?

454
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,960
And you go into this wee room and...

455
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,480
Well, that's you. I mean, you...

456
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:44,960
You've gotta dae the biz.
But what happens if you cannae?

457
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:46,960
Mum, please! No, no, it's all right.

458
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:50,960
Er, well, there's things
in there, Christine, you know.

459
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:53,000
They've got things in there tae...
tae help ye.

460
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,640
What things? Mum!

461
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:57,160
I'm just asking!

462
00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:00,960
It's just things
to help, er, stimulate you.

463
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,960
Oh, like what-d'ya-ma-callits?

464
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:04,960
Fluffers!

465
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,960
So, what exactly did they say
when you phoned?

466
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,960
Just a load of stuff about not
being able to give out information

467
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:16,960
over the phone
and something about harassment,

468
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:20,960
and then, eventually, she just said
they were really sorry, but...

469
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:22,960
because of my age and, er...

470
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:28,960
..various other factors that...

471
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:30,960
we'd reached the end of the road.

472
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,320
Aw, Cathy, I'm so sorry!

473
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:36,960
I'd have made such a good mum, Beth!

474
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:38,960
How's Colin about it?

475
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:41,960
He doesn't know.
I've not told him yet.

476
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:43,960
Well, do you not think...? I will!

477
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:46,960
Later, when it's just the two of us.

478
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:50,960
You know what my Colin's like.
He's a very private person.

479
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,480
So, I'm sat in the corridor.

480
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,640
It's like death row!

481
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:57,960
Except there's tea and coffee.

482
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,960
And the next thing, the wee
consultant guy, he calls me in

483
00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:05,480
and he says, er, "Well, Mr White, we
have never seen anything like it!"

484
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,960
And I was like that, "Oh, dear!"
He says, "No, no!" he says.

485
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:11,960
He says,
"Everything's fine your end.

486
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:13,960
"In fact, it's mair than fine.

487
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,960
"Your stuff is practically
jumping oot the cup!"

488
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:24,320
Listen, there are millions of women
who don't have children

489
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,320
living perfectly happy lives!

490
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,480
It's all I've ever wanted, Beth.

491
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:32,960
I know. A little baby Colin.

492
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:37,960
A little tiny Colin running round.
Wouldn't that be amazing?

493
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,960
I mean, having babies -
that's the point of living!

494
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,800
It's just the shock
at the minute, Cathy!

495
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,960
Yeah, you're right.
You've still got Colin.

496
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,960
Yeah. You've got your friends.

497
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:54,960
You've got me.

498
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:57,960
All right.

499
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:02,960
Having a family isn't
the be-all and end-all.

500
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:06,000
You've got a whole life ahead of you
to look forward to, Cathy.

501
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,160
Oh, thanks, Beth!

502
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:13,960
Oh...

503
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:15,960
Aw.

504
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:20,960
Now I know I'm not going
to have to breast-feed, I'm...

505
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,160
I'm definitely going to get
implants for Christmas.

506
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:32,160


507
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:35,960


508
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:36,960
Mum?

509
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:38,000
Mum!

510
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:42,640
Come on, we'll need to go.
Aw, ssh! I'm enjoying myself!

511
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:44,960
It's no very often I get the chance
to get out the house

512
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:47,800
and get a bit of company!

513
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,960
And besides, I reckon this is going
to end up in a screaming match,

514
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,960
and I'm buggered
if I'm going to miss that!

515
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,960
Hello!

516
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:57,960
JAZ: Are you OK, Cathy?
Yeah! Yeah, I'm fine.

517
00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:01,960
I was just, um...

518
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,960
Cathy was just telling me about
the sailing trip she's going on.

519
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:06,960
Colin was just telling us
about his...

520
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:08,960
Why don't we take
a nice picture of us all

521
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:10,960
and put it on
your digital frame thing?

522
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,640
Oh, yeah, birthday picture!
Yeah, that's a great idea.

523
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:15,960
Right, everyone,
squeeze in on the sofa.

524
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,960
Birthday boy, you in the middle.
Right, there you are. Oh, here...

525
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:22,960
Mind keep your legs shut this time,
Eric. Aye, all right! Ha-ha-ha!

526
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:26,960
I'm just going to head home.
Aw, Sophie, stay for the photo!

527
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,960
Yeah, stay for the photo, Soph.

528
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,960
CHRISTINE: Oh, my God!

529
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:31,960
I'll tell you this...

530
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,960
I have enjoyed this tonight.

531
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:40,960
In fact,
the whole day has been super.

532
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:41,960
It really has.

533
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,960
Nothing's happening. Just wait
a few seconds and then it'll do it.

534
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:50,960
CAMERA CLICKS, ERIC SIGHS
Oh, dear. There we go!

535
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:52,160
There we are!

536
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,960
Oh, it's a bit weird!
What's wrong with it?

537
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:00,960
Christine smiling, is she?

538
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:02,960
GIGGLING
What's the wee dick saying noo?

539
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:03,960
Let me see it!

540
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:09,800
That's all right! Aye!
MURMURS OF AGREEMENT

541
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:12,960
Oh, there's a hell of a sheen
aff your forehead, Eric!

542
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,000
Here, Jaz, take one of us!

543
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,960
Take one of the mums, eh!

544
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:18,960
Come on, Beth! Ha-ha!

545
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:20,160
There, up, up. Aye. Come on.

546
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:22,640
Uh-huh!

547
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:27,960
Here, Cathy, you come in on this as
well. Er, no, I'm... Come on, Cathy!

548
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:34,960
Oh, well, I'll come in too.
No, no, this is just for the mums!

549
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:35,960
AND Cathy.

550
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:37,000
Christine!

551
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,960
Well, she's working on it,
aren't you, Cathy?

552
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,960
Oh, here,
you'd better get my good side, eh?

553
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:44,960
Oh, no, Sophie, you take it.

554
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:46,000
Sophie knows how to take me.

555
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,960
No, no, no.

556
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:49,960
No, I'll just come in for it.

557
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:53,960
It's mums, isn't it? Uh-huh. Well,
I'll just come in for it, then.

558
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,960
But you're not a mum!
Well, not yet I'm not.

559
00:26:58,480 --> 00:26:59,640
But I will be soon.

560
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:02,960
I'm pregnant.

561
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:06,960
Beth!

562
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:07,960
BETH!

563
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,000
Aw!

564
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:12,960
Mr Baird? Er, yes?

565
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,960
You brought in Christine O'Neill?
Aye.

566
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:17,960
They've got her sedated
and they're just going

567
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:19,960
to keep an eye on her for
the time being. That's good.

568
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,960
Can I take some details from you
in the meantime? Of course.

569
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,640
Your name, please? Eric Baird.
Mm-hm.

570
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:27,960
Your relation to patient? Friend.

571
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:29,960
Er, no, neighbour.

572
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:33,960
And your date of birth?

573
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,000
Er, sixth of the fifth, '53.

574
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,960
Great.

575
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:39,960
Sixth of the fifth? Oh, that...

576
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:42,960
So it is!

577
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:43,960
Happy birthday!

578
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:46,960
HE SIGHS

579
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:50,960

from the Isle of Skye

580
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:52,960

and I'm awful shy

581
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,960


582
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:56,960


583
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,640

Let the wind blow low

584
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:01,960

in my kilt I'll go

585
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:03,960


586
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:05,960


587
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:07,960


588
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:09,960


589
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:11,960


590
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:13,960


591
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:15,960

Let the wind blow low

592
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:17,960

in my kilt I'll go

593
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:19,960


594
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:21,960


595
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:23,960


596
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,160


597
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,800

their heads around saying

598
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:30,960


599
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:32,960
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